I try and try and try, day in day out, week after week, month after month, hours on end constantly. I try to do everything I need to accomplish. I have to. I have no set goals, I just claw towards where I need to be. When I get to the top of a mountain I feel nothing. Satisfaction eviscerated from my cycle and I just need to climb another one. If I can do something, then it can’t be difficult. I backslide, I improve, I forget, I loop, I don’t know when I’ve gotten there. I peer through clouded lenses and see what others do and hold them in the highest echelon in my system. I don’t need to be the best, I just need to be like them.